A new year is approaching and what better time to get your life in order. The best way to start the new year is to evaluate the last. Not to scrutinize or pick at the past, but to actually accept whatever it is and learn the lesson from it. I definitely had some high moments this year and gratefully not too many lows. This past year has been a year of grinding, realization, and growth. If you know anything about me by now, you know I'm a firm believer that physical health starts with having mental stamina. Having my health in a much better place this year, I was able to focus a lot on my emotional and mental state. Every year was the same, I'd learn several life lessons, but it wasn't often that I actually learn things about myself. This year I actively started to really get to know myself (28 years later perfect time to start I know lol) not just by going through something and then realizing who I am but actually figuring Beverly out. 2017 I asked myself the difficult questions, put myself in unfamiliar places, and tackled myself head on.
If I had to describe this entire year in one word, grinding is the first to come to mind. I barely celebrated any holidays, birthdays, and hardly any traveling. But this is all apart of the process. There are periods in my life where I've had to make sacrifices and work now to play later. Unfortunately, social media makes it seem like success, accomplishments, etc just happen. Like there was no work, dedication, and time put into it. There will be days, months, years of just working towards your goals. This was one of those years. I'm blessed to have gotten sworn in this year as a New York attorney, proud of relaunching a business I had set aside for a year, and finally at the final stretch of launching my intimates line. All that took time, years to be exact, 2017 was apart of that. But I love those keep your head down and stay focused years of my life. I learn so much more during the struggle and grind, it's much appreciated.
The realization part of this year dealt with the basic human need of wanting to be liked. I never realize until this year how important it was to me that I cared so much about how people felt about me. It wasn't until an unexpected conversation that I had with my photographer that I realized I wanted to leave every person I met with a good impression of myself. I never wanted it to be phony or staged but I wanted everyone to meet me and just get me. But that's just not the case. I do indeed still care what people think of me, but not to the extent that I let it affect me negatively anymore. Any person I encounter, I try to be the best version of me and just hope I left them feeling better than before. 2017 taught me that I can't force everyone to see who I really am, but I can at least strive to leave them feeling better no matter what they thought of me.
That type of self-realization turned into growth. Learning to be confident in how I interact with people, not afraid to be my true self. The more I got to know myself and appreciate who I am, you start to want more from your surroundings. You want better relationships, friendships, etc. That made me realize that I'm not giving what I'm wanting. And that's as true as they say you will not get what you don't give. Me being so focused on my goals, I am quick to put work before the people in my life. Some say that is a gift and some say it is a curse. I say I'm just working on finding a balance. Yes, it would be great for everyone to accept and understand that I'm on a constant mission to move to the next level in my life. But at the same time, I don't want to keep making excuses for not being a present friend, girlfriend, cousin, niece, or whatever. Once I realized I wanted more from my surroundings I had to accept that I would have to give my surroundings that same amount I wanted.
All in all, I appreciate what 2017 had to offer. 2018 will be full or more grinding lol, but making time for my surroundings, and a lot more self-awareness. I've been getting to know more about me on a daily and I love it, I will definitely continue that into the new year. (p.s. I'm so sorry if you thought this would be about workout routines lol, I actually do have a decent regimen if you guys are interested in those kind of health post as well please comment below and I'll get right on it)
Thank you for visiting. Please comment below. What's life like in your Heels?
Top: Nike - Half Zip Running Top
Pants: Nike - Racer Runner Leggings
Sneakers: Nike - Knit Running Sneakers